babyblue7

you thought i was gone for good . well i guss i could of been but my bestestestest fucking buddie in the world leah reminded me of my lost love. yea at out school we have laptops and they blocked deviant art i was so depressed and utterly forgot about it. but now i am back and i will be doing daily things HOPFULLY. and making art with my friends. so check it out woohooo. i miss you guys. all my art buddies.

he comes back in an hour or soo can't wait so happy after like 8 months of him being in qwiat and iraq or where ever he comes back..wooot

i miss dustin.he will miss his b-day with me and that is what hurts me the most is that he is thee or me but were torn apart by the home.he won't be at his house on his b-day .i miss tanner.i want to see him whenever but it is hiding to say the least.having to go to noels and see him.we have dated for more then 2 monthes now and well he is the longest relationship i have had now.and well it makes me wonder who am i to say i love.shoudl i love.i do love tanner .no one sees it no one knows.and everyone is sutpied cause they dont' see how much i like him.hell we love each other.and thinking right now i do want kids wiht tanner not now but later in lie.i couldn't imagine my life wihtout him i would do anythign to please him.i want kids .i don't want to be a lonley not famuos actor or not famous artist.i want to be with you or as long as i have.i know i changed but i changed for you.the only thing i cna't give up is moving to europe.the rest you can change for all you want.i just want us to be together.we have a lot and yet nothign in common.you fav color is lime green.you love twiilers.youy love rock .you have a bb gun and you have well black hair now but you have blonde hair.you love fighting video games.your very loveable and care.you hate peopel crying and you want to hug more then kiss.but kissing to you show love.that is all i have at mind cause i cna't think any more.but tanner i love you a lot .nothing has fased me much ,but i used to thinki would be a famous actor in eruope and i would have everything.but that was when i was alone with no one to care about.now i have you and i can't picture my life any other way.i don't care who disaproves of us dating cause it is my choice and i will stand behide it even throught the yelling cause you mean a lot to me and i couldnt' live wihtout seening you or laughing at yoru funny jokes .i could live without holding your hand.i couldn't live without your smile or that one eye with a splash of red line.i couldnt' live without you hugs or you holding my wasit i couldn't live without you period.!i hope you feel the same as i do cause i fell so hard and i truthully don't want to get back up anymore .life is happy on earth.everytime i kiss you i float my body falls and everythign.i might be tall but i hope you don't get dissapointed and find a hotter chicik who your taller then.i hope you don't want somthign new.cause i dont want anything new i just want you.it is werid saying at the beginning of the year i had thougth everythign was going right and it turned out wrong and now i have you i just want you i dont' want everythign to fall apart.i love you tanner .a lot..

i just think life is great but not it is a werid emoptional mix

weirdly i think i am crushing on a guy in my health class.he is nice and sweet.btu crazy too.i mena yea i know it will neevr happen at all but that is what a crush is for right?
he isn't leading me on or anythign but he is just a really nice person.we talk but not much .he baroows things and always returns them .and idk i just and weridly going nuts over him

i can't seem to find my self talking to a friend of mine thought we have talked for ages online.i have jelly beans for him but i yet to give them to him because it is like werid idk he isn't who i would htink i would be shy of but i am.i am falling down i mean that as in i am shy now more then ever.i keep my self to drawing and my mouth shut. i seen across the universe .and i watch it to avoid contact from people.it seems that i can talk miles with garrett but seein him in person makes me break down and be shy.i mean  h i have tryed to talk with him but my body tell me no .i swear my heart beast like uber fast and i get red.fuck today i tryed to give him jelly beans but i couldn't .i had the perfect chance to but i didn't idk why i didn't i was to hit my self over and over for the problem i did.i just can't belivie it takes him to make me shy but i can walk up to anyone else and tlak miles around them.idk what is wrong wit me but i guess i am going nuts.wonkers....

other thins happeneing with me.
tanner is my mate i have been with him about 2 monthes now.

i am getting glasses in a few hours. and i am uber scared i don't know why i am i gues it is the scaryness of the past.in 4th grade getting teased and having everyone teste me cause of my nose teeth and eyes and feet.

also, i have watched across the universe 12 times not in a row but all together love the movie it makes me cry at the end the way the guy loves her and how he looks.

i am suppose to be writing about oklahma but i finished it up yesterday and we have a sub so it is really boring inchoir right now.but  i finished everythign so there is nothign more for me to do.

i don't knwo what to do i se him threw the glass and uck he makes me so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. my heart jumped god i never been this scared of him before.

i guess i can't get over my shyness right now.fudge.i guess i will just never give it to him cause if i do then that might ruin our online relationship i doubt he even knows who i am .i mena he knows who i am but not what i sound like or anythign .just my personality  in my writing